I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
