how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
