Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
