we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
