Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize