absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
