my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
