I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
