Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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