Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
