Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
