what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
