I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
