YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
