I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
