Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize