I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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