just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
