You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
