A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
