So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
