Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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