I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
