Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
