If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
