i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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