Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
