for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
