He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The struggles of a small town man whore
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
