There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
