dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
