I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
