I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize