yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
