Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
