...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
