I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
