This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
