I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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