So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
