ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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