I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
