i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
