Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
