Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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