I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Randomize
