i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
