I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
