So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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