it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
