so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I have aggressive nipples.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
