did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
