I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
