I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
