apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
