dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
