i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
