I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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