Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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