Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
