yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
