Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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