we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
